THE AKOND OF SWAT

Edward Lear

 

Reader: Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT?

PAIRED READERS ALL + ONE

1

Readers 1 & 2

First: Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?

Second: Does he sit on a stool, a sofa or chair,

 

ALL: or SQUAT,

ONE READER THROUGHOUT: The Akond of Swat?

 

2

Readers 3 & 4

First: Is he wise or foolish, young or old?

Second: Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,

 

ALL: or HOT,

ONE READER: The Akond of Swat?

 

3

Readers 5 & 6

Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,

And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk

 

or TROT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

4

Readers 7 & 8

Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?

Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,

 

or COT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

5

Readers 9 & 10

When he writes a copy in round-hand size,

Does he cross his T's and finish his I's

 

with a DOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

6

11 & 12

Can he write a letter concisely clear

Without a speck or a smudge or a smear

 

or BLOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

7

13 & 14

Do his people like him extremely well?

Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,

 

or PLOT,

At the Akond of Swat?

 

8

15 & 16

Does he study the wants of his own dominion?

Or doesn't he care for public opinion

 

a JOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

9

17 & 18

To amuse his mind do his people show him

Pictures, or any one's last new poem,

 

or WHAT,

For the Akond of Swat?

 

10

19 & 20

At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,

Do they bring him only a few small cakes,

 

or a LOT,

For the Akond of Swat?

 

11

 

Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?

Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,

 

or a DOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

12

 

Does he like to lie on his back in a boat

Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,

 

SHALOTT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

13

 

Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?

Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or Russ,

 

or a SCOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

14

 

Does like to sit by the calm blue wave?

Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,

 

or a GROTT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

15

 

Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?

Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?

 

or a POT.

The Akond of Swat?

 

16

 

Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,

And tie it neat in a bow with ends,

 

or a KNOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

17

 

Does he like new cream, and hate mince pies?

When he looks at the sun does he blink his eyes,

 

or NOT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

 

 

Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?

Does he sail about on an inland lake

 

in a YACHT,

The Akond of Swat?

 

 

 

Someone, or nobody, knows, I wot,

Who or which or why or what

 

ALL: Is the Akond of Swat!

 

 

Glossary

dominion a territory ruled by a single person

fez a felt hat, usually of a red color

grott grotto (a cave)

round-hand a style of handwriting

Russ Russian

Shalott The Lady of Shalott by Alfred Lord Tennyson

steward manager

tripe a food taken from oxen, sheep, or goats

turban a long cloth wound around the head

wot - know