Integral with a person's leadership of himself or herself is the use of words. Anyone, whether he or she be a military leader, a political leader, or the self, is at a loss without the use of words. Words are the medium for conveying a message, whether it be to troops, to political allies, or to a part of the mind. When a part of the mind pesters a person with negative thoughts, the medium of communication in response is words.

It is within the power of every person to try out new thoughts in his or her mind. When I am under attack by negative thoughts, I do not wait passively for some good idea to occur to me. Rather, I deliberately say to myself something such as, "That thought is unfriendly. I need a friendly, kind, supportive subconscious." By doing so, I experiment with new possibilities. By thinking the opposing words or thoughts, I entertain or allow the possibility of thinking differently, of being different.

A word has the wonderful property of stimulating all kinds of associations with that word, associations that are swept into consciousness when the word is named. When I "think" a word, my mind becomes active elaborating that word. It is the same power a person uses when solving a crossword puzzle. I "think" the clue, and my mind searches for the answer among a multitude of possibilities.

A person's view of himself or herself works the same way. If I have a concept of myself as smart, for example, my mind interprets my flow of experiences by giving me instances of my being smart, and I think, "The way I talked was smart. The way I handled that situation was smart." Similarly, if my view of myself is of weakness, failure, or unattractiveness, I interpret my experiences in accordance with this concept or word, and I continually criticize myself. In that case, the word sweeps into consciousness instances of weakness, failure, or unattractiveness.

I can deliberately take a stand in opposition to the meanness of the self-shamer and self-blamer. Instead of retreating, I can face up to the judge in my mind. Instead of suffering in silence, I can talk back. It is an amazing and fortunate feature of the judge that, once it is faced, its weakness is unmasked, like the Wizard's in The Wizard of Oz. It can be taught to take its rightful place. Its power is an illusion. In general, when I expose my bad feeling, such as self-criticism, by paying attention to it, without aversion, then the bad feeling diminishes, and what is left is the truth.

Taking an opposing position is taking one's own side. Instead of abandoning my side in favor of the authorities, I face that I am abandoning myself, and I give consideration to the possibility that my side can be defended. I repudiate self-abandonment and consequently develop my own justification. I am a wonderful creation of Nature/life and have rights as such equal to everyone else. My first responsibility is to myself, and I develop my side accordingly. I get off justifying others and get on to justifying myself.

Turning away from the pestering sometimes requires the use of words, such as, "That thought is unfriendly. I need a friendly, kind, supportive subconscious" or "There you go again. I don't want this kind of pestering. I need to go to a friendlier place" or "Please! Go back where you came from. I move on."

This power to assume leadership of oneself has immediate benefits in small ways as well as large. For example, a line from a song was going over and over in my mind, annoying me. I'd start to do something and there it would be again - "You can bring Pearl, she's a real nice girl, but don't bring Lulu." It was as if my mind was afraid it would forget it: "You'd better remember this. Don't forget it now. Here it is again so you won't forget." This didn't go on for just a few minutes, it went on for an hour, and then in the middle of the night there it was again: "You can bring Pearl, she's a real nice girl, but don't bring Lulu." Finally, I said to myself, I'm going to make an assertion to stop this song, and I said in my mind, "I stop playing this song in my mind. I stop listening to it." As if brought up short, the song went away. Then, about an hour later, it came back, so I repeated to myself, "I stop playing the song in my mind. I stop listening to it," and the song disappeared again. I've had to assert the command several times since then, but for the most part my mind has obeyed me and I haven't been annoyed further.

Dealing every day with a crowd of negative thoughts is a struggle. Awful thoughts spring unwanted into consciousness. I might conclude that who I am is defined by fear, shame, hostility, and guiltiness - "I am a fearful, shameful, hostile, and guilty person." Struggling with oneself is, in effect, trying to hold one's image together - "I should have behaved differently, I should be a different person" repeats itself over and over again, in a loop. Emerson's dictum to "trust thyself" is far, far away.

Even in such a state of trying to hold one's image together, feeling self-conscious, I can open myself to change: "You are worrying, you are worrying, you are worrying, . . . You are feeling self-conscious, you are feeling self-conscious, you are feeling self-conscious, . . ." can be repeated again and again. In so speaking to myself, I take a stand different from the stand where the hurtful words exist. I am no longer "inside" my problems. I place myself in a mood receptive to change.

Movements inside the mind are very swift. Hundreds of times a day the mind is reminded of something in the past: when I see a child, I think of my own child; when I see a dog, I think of my own dog; when I see a mother, I think of my own mother; etc. Often, these associations are unpleasant - I am reminded of something that I wish that I could forget. When this happens, I can resist being sucked inside the bad feelings that the recollection engenders. I can remind myself that the mind seems naturally to want to re-do the past to make everything right and also to make the person right. It doesn't seem to have figured out the fact that the past is unchangeable. Again and again it brings up the same unwanted material, always trying to re-do it to make it right.

This repetiveness is aggravated by our desire to feel that we are - and that we were - in the right. We want to have a good image of ourselves. However, in everyone's past there is plentiful evidence of wrongdoing, and in the present we make mistakes all the time. If we recognize our own defensiveness, we can comfortably say to ourselves, "I was guilty. I am guilty. I was ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself" or "guilty, guilty, guilty," acknowledging without self-justification the wrongs that we have committed.

Facing the consequences is taking a position of leadership. It is taking a position in the present, where I create my life from what I have been given. Moment by moment I create my life as I live it. By facing, considering, and, finally, acting in the present, I can maintain leadership of this organism that is I and not be swamped by the imperiousness of inappropriate thoughts. I can say to myself, "This feeling is precisely normal. It is inevitable, given your constitution, circumstances, and history. Your nature is in Nature."

When I recognize my place in Nature, I am compassionate and tolerant toward myself and toward other people. Compassionate, I recognize that not only am I totally created by Nature/life, but others are, as well. We all share the inevitability of being who we are.